Sunday, May 13, 2018

The Art of Mother's Day

All inspired by the heART

Mothers are the salt of the earth, the sweet, powerful, loving, giving, available and supportive. Some are not so sweet and sometimes departed. Be it through estrangement, death or distance.


This is the podcast on video for those who prefer to listen rather than reading this blog.

I write this post purely from the perspective of a Woman. I have given birth to two babies, one lived and one died. My mother disowned me when I was in my 30's, (I am now 55) and she unofficially adopted a young woman across the street, whose mother had died. 

Mother's Day might just be a commercial holiday to some, but still, the energy that flows during this celebrated (or avoided) occasion has an enormous influence. We all have a story about our mothers... the good and not so good, happy and sad - be it if you are a mother or not. I have friends, close friends who have very different stories. I know in every circumstance each of my friends has a unique experience, just like I know you do. The men in my life and the men I know, including those I have coached, have shared with me their love for her and the pain. How it has impacted their relationships and impression on the women they date and marry, or befriend. Gay relationships, from all perspective color the same picture and fill in the lines, no different than anyone else. It doesn't matter if you are Asian, Black, Caucasian, Eastern, pink or blue or a brother or sister from another mother - We are all impacted by our relationship or none relationships with our mothers.

I am writing this post for all of you, and more so for myself as a reminder. Why? For the distinct purpose that all that grows requires nurturing. Nurture is the KEY word for today. There maybe little I can share with you that is new, but what I can do is remind you what is most important.

Meaning of Nurture: to feed, cherish, care for, something to nourish, help develop, parent, father, mother and foster.

Whatever you story is, be it if she is alive, passed to the other side or far away or with you right this minute. Nurture what you have. Help grow and nourish everything beautiful about your relationship with your "Mom," if you are Australian or English "Mum," if you are Spanish "Mana" French "Maman."

Take the little things she did that were good and build upon those gifts within your own life. My mum, when I was little, read me a story before going to sleep, filled with morals and messages. I cherish those moments and choose to remember her this way. More so, I am inclined to take it further and share stories. I do contribute my passion for storytelling to her, including my passion for writing. She planted a seed and by choice I nurture her gift to me. She gave me life and the lessons and gifts that go with it.

If you did not know your mother or you have nothing good to recall .. seek that which brought you the most memorable treasures. Maybe it was a woman you met for a short time, who left a tingle in your heart like a teacher, a neighbor or distant female relative. Anything that was kind, nurture such gestures, and grow that into something bigger. Spend the day developing, in yourself the qualities planted in your heart - feed the seed that has grown into YOU! 

Everything that grows from the heart is an art. 

The meaning of art: the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination. Producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power. 

Develop your imagination!!!! Get creative today, adopt a new skill or develop a love for something you do already, indulge in photography, gardening, carpentry, painting, cooking, whatever your hearts desire be creative, create something for the love of it. Take this time to nurture the spirit of the female, the feminine,  the yin and the balance to all that emphasizes nature - the heavenly practices of Mother Earth. Start recycling... plant a tree, grow some herbs.






Divine Blessing to you all... may this day and all the other days you choose be special embrace with your hearts desire and create.  

Deborah

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

"Happy Mothers Day" A Buoyant Mother, treading water.


A Buoyant Mother
Treading Water


Treading water is a survival technique to stay afloat...


another lesson learned



Summer is approaching, I avoid the news... it is not something I want marinating in my subconscious while I slumber with the angels. Unfortunately, I fell asleep on the sofa while watching a movie. Waking to the evening broadcast of another tragedy, a child surviving on life support, after a drowning. This is close to home. For those of you who don't know, my son drowned 31 years ago. For those who do, I promise to be real. This is not morbid - it is a revelation. Meaning brings beauty.

I didn't intend to write about the incident but it's obvious the subject is lingering. Why? My pool is empty. Yes! I have a pool. I love the water. Living in Las Vegas the dry hot summers promote the need for water. So I bought a house with a pool. Shocked by my decision my friend asked, "How on earth can you look outside your kitchen window, at a pool?" "The pool is not my enemy, I will not let my son's memory own tragedy." I smiled. It has long passed.

It's eight years since I moved to Nevada. My previous beautiful home was in Australia situated in the Koorablyn Valley, boasting five luscious green acres. I miss the valley and the view of the mountains. As much as it was hard to leave it behind, it was time for me to adventure new frontiers. My friends thought me brave. Four of those eight years my pool has looked like an empty swamp. This is a huge confession for someone who practices the art of Feng Shui, and the benefits to enhance environmental energy, balance and harmony. The view from my kitchen window is not a reminder of my baby's drowning, why? more so of a recent misfortune. At the crossroad of fate, once again, my life took an unforeseen detour. I sat in a chair that was invisible to the eye, broken. I fell directly onto concrete, injuring my spine. I had to have an unexpected surgery. I had to dig deeper than ever before into places I never imagined, to honor my calling. I have suffered. Beyond suffering. A story that is hard to comprehend - people’s cruelty and ignorance and the lack of compassion and care. I have been treading water, trying to stay afloat. I venture into new terrains of loss, loneliness and solitude. My body feels like it has shattered into a million pieces. The empty pool is a reminder of what I have recently lost and cannot afford. The luxuries we most often take for granted. The hurdles I once mastered. I thought all my lessons were near learnt. Alas, there is more to discover and even more to document. My dreams, and my dedication to my calling seem replaced with being stationary in a survival mode.

I am part of a large group of online survivors, from all walks of life and experience. Some cringe at the thought, after years and years of survival, the term "survivor," to be called a survivor. Why? The word means to exist, to continue in spite of an ordeal or trauma. During survival, suffering still often continues. To many survivors, being called a survivor is to ONLY get by - like staying afloat. This analogy between survival and staying a float is so much more than a technique to exist - to remain alive. I have experienced unimaginable heartache. Watching my child kept alive on a life support machine, brain dead. I recall my mother stating, “it would have been best, easier if the paramedic had not revived him.” I don't agree. Every treasurable moment gave me time with my baby - time that became a saving grace. In many ways, one in particular, I found my buoyancy, my ability to rise in faith.

All our experiences are unique. I am not an authority on your particular journey. But I do know this. Survival is a huge stepping-stone, a platform, and a foundation to build upon. Treading water suspended in an experience builds powerful muscles, mentally, emotionally and physically. It teaches you the most valuable life lessons and skills. It reminds you to use and make the most with what you have - to be resourceful and resilient. The ability to survive is the trademark of courage and strength. Having courage and being strong grants the resilience to withstand. Do I imagine sometimes? After all this time, the pleasures I missed with my two boys - the joy of a mother and her sons, of course. Tears fill my eyes. Fate had other plans for me. Time doesn’t heal all wounds but it does give you a chance to tread water and build character and discipline. It shows you what love means. This phase, which holds survival, can either corrode your heart with saddness, hate, fear and anger or fill it with compassion. At the cross roads of fate stands the Alter. An internal place to embrace your survival and identify what it has given you. What you have given to yourself.

Time has long passed since my little Lee graduated to the other side, where angels watch over us. The memories are vivid. Not of the tragedy - of the blessings, the gifts presented. Like a wise old owl, as I smile, (I am not old) in the freedom of peace - I see beauty, even though I am challenged with new adversities, I know. I can see, not so much what lies ahead but what grows from within.

Like a huge tree I dig down into the dirt of the earth 
with the roots of my experience, 
expand my knowledge... 
Reaching high into the light of the sky 
to grow in the spirit of understanding, compassion and love.


May is Mother's Day Month 
Happy Mothers Day to all my friends, happy children’s day to those who love there mothers. I have learned many things, what matters most is not what you learn, but how you practice wisdom, by applying what you know. Life is a practice. Treading water is a practice - surviving a moment to graduate to higher and greater places within.

Happy Mothers Day All, the grace of love becomes you.

Thrive by practicing the skills from your survival!

Life continues to show us the way by the roads we travel, chosen by chance or by choice. Either way, a thriving survivor is one that practices the finer skills in what they have learned, and the practice of grace thats been granted. 

My revelation is... yes, I still cry, sometimes sob for the many experiences of loss, but it is through the past that has granted me the wisdom to know when to let go and let God. Let go and embrace the moment - most of all love myself by being patient with my imperfections, the behaviors I hold at my weakest moment. As a survivor I have learned to thrive in the desert. Not just the desert in Nevada but the desert of misfortune. As a warrior of life. I am strong and can fight a good fight, - if necessary. By choice, not out of weakness I choose to move in grace - in love. I am blessed!

Love, Courage and Peace,
Deborah

There is more to this story. I look forward in presenting my new book  
The Key to Life Process. Story © protected 2017.

To those of you owning a swimming pool, be responsible. Create boundaries to protect your children. Provide floating devices, alarms, childproof fences and gates. Water is beautiful and water can be dangerous. Practice safe water habits with pool safety. Never leave your child out of sight.

SaveSave

Monday, May 27, 2013

My Greatest Wisdom - A Human Experience of Survival


"The Story of the Dandelion Flower" 

Dedicate to in memory of Lee Feb 17th 1984 - March 20th 1986

A Human Experience of Survival brings to you "The Story of the Dandelion Flower" in memory of Lee who died in 1986. A journey to the center of the soul. The spiritual reality to empowering your life on the time line passage through pain, grief and injury with Inspirational Speaker and Author Deborah Berry. 

"My Greatest Wisdom" 

Music by Pierre Dube' Script written by Deborah Berry

"Falling Through Shadows" Click here

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Discover the strength to conquer your fears, Embrace the gift of kindness in your life

Inspirational Speaker and storyteller Survivor Deborah Berry presents

“The Story of the Dandelion Flower” a journey of courage, wisdom and kindness. Leaving the seed of hope planted in your heart…
Deborah guides you through the doorway
into A Journey to the center of the soul....